Your work role can smother

One thing life coaches, therapists, and ministers have in common is feeling called to help people with intellectual, physical, spiritual depth, and emotional awareness. This can become so important that some of us may lose ourselves in our roles, and our roles may become who we identify as all the time. Of course, these are classic workaholic tendencies, which anyone in any profession can relate to.

A minister friend, who has workaholic tendencies and is a classic overachiever, shared this quote with me this morning from John O'Donohue's beautiful book Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom, a sacred book in my collection. It is a loving reminder not to lose ourselves in our work roles and to keep a healthy balance in our lives.

John O'Donohue writes (on pages 148-150 in Anam Cara):

"It is very important to have a careful look at the kind of work you do. You should try to establish whether the work you do and your workplace are actually expressive of your identity, dignity, and giftedness. If not, difficult choices may need to be made. If you sell your soul, you ultimately buy a life of misery.

Respectability and security are subtle traps on life's journey. Those who are drawn to extremes are often nearer to renewal and self-discovery. Those trapped in the bland middle region of respectability are lost without ever realizing it. This can be a trap for those addicted to their work world. Many people operate only with one side of their mind: the strategic, tactical, mechanical side day in and day out. This becomes a mental habit that they then apply to everything, including their inner life. Even though they may be powerful people in the theatre of work, outside of the workplace, they look forlorn and lost. You cannot repress the presence of your soul and not pay the price. If you sin against your soul, it is always at great cost. Work can be an attractive way of sinning deeply against the wildness and creativity of your own soul. Work comes to dominate your identity.

The Role Can Smother

If you only awaken your will and intellect, then your work can become your identity. Often, people's identities, that wild inner complexity of soul and color of spirit, become shrunken into their work identities. They become prisoners of their roles. They limit and reduce their lives. They become seduced by the practice of self-absence. They move further and further away from their own lives. They are forced backward into hidden areas on the ledges of their hearts. When you encounter them, you meet only the role. You look for the person, but you never meet her. To practice only the linear external side of your mind is very dangerous. All of our work worlds are now recognizing how desperately they need the turbulence, anarchy, and growth possibilities that come from the unpredictable world of the imagination. These are so vital for the passion and force of a person's life. If you engage only the external side of yourself and stay on this mechanical surface, you become secretly weary. Gradually, years of this practice make you desperate."

Work/Life Balance

Balancing our lives includes focusing on all of these equally:

Community contributions through our personal service/volunteering

Making time for fun and excitement

Spending quality time with friends and family

Working on personal growth consistently instead of needing the approval of others

Keeping track of our own, individual finances with professional help

Loving our romantic relationships or having the courage to let them go to find happier ones

Taking excellent care of our physical health and bodies

Nourishing our own spiritual health

Regulating our own emotional health

Whatever your work role, taking some time to get quiet and reflect on it, how consuming it is, what your work/life balance looks like, how you feel creatively and soulfully alive or not, how authentic you're being in your work role, and what you need to change is a valuable use of your time and the gentle path forward to happiness.